Monday, October 19, 2009

Ain't necessarily so

The beginning of the end starts now Dear Reader. My first in a series of posts that will culminate in what will be the final Team Tinsley BLOG entry. It's hard for me to believe I've been at this since 2004. When I started the Elder Boy was just shy of the two year mark. And Wy Wy. He wasn't even two weeks old!

Back then this BLOG was intended to be a way to keep the growing Team Tinsley connected with family and friends that didn't live in the messoplex. A few months in, I had my a-ha moment and realized that what I was writing could serve a greater purpose. It could be saved for posterity. This goofy ass BLOG could be a chronicle for the Boy(s), who short of some serious therapy, wouldn't be able to remember these stories from when they were so young. Like Neil Gaiman said, "You forget the things you were certain you would always remember, especially the tiny things, and all too often they're the things that matter." That quote in many ways beget the Team Tinsley BLOG which is simply: my remember when, for then, then being the Buck Rogers future.

Since 2004 the style and format of this here BLOG has changed considerably, as have the readers. I'm amazed by everyone who has taken time out of their day(s) to read anything here. It's nice to hear you've touched people with what you've written. Especially when much of it is very personal. But that's the wild part for me. Even though I love that people have read this here BLOG, the two people who it has been written for have yet to read a single word. I most often refer to them simply as Dear Reader. Because I'm both goofy and supersticious. But make no mistake. Dear Reader has always been, Ethan and Wyatt.

So today, I sit here, staring down the endgame, and navel gazing as it were. Trying to make sense of it all. Only ending it is harder than I would have ever imagined. The Team Tinsley BLOG has taken on a life of it's own. Which is why I've been procrastinating the inevitable. Putting off this post. Because it makes me sad. Partly because I enjoy writing. It is cathartic. Then there is my ego. I love the fact that I've touched readers with our stories.

But those reasons are small in comparison to the real reason that it makes me sad. That can be traced back to what I consider my first good post. For those that don't want to chase that link, let me cut to the chase. Change. And the cold hard fact that my pulling the plug is a tangible admission that the Boy(s) are growing up fast.

It is time. Wy will be six soon. Ethan will be eight. They are old enough to remember their own stories, and have their own memories, and the last thing I want of this BLOG is for it to turn into some crazy-ass Rashoman sort of a thing. For my memories to overwrite their memories. I also don't want to write anything that would embarrass them as they get older. Which with me, is a very real possibility.

Which brings us to the end.

I'm not exactly sure when it will come. I have a few more stories I'd like to tell. And I'm toying with listing some of my favorite entries as a way of organizing the glut of posts (261 to be exact.)

And then there's the greater issue of that final post. What I'll write. How I will end all of this (picture me gesturing toward the archives on the right of your screen?) Not to mention what song I'll end it with in my goofy Until I BLOG again...link thing I always do. Navel gazing I know. But when you've invested as much time as I have, and recorded the kind of stories I've put down here, it has to be a fitting ending. Which is why I'm writing this entry. Laying it out there. I hope those that follow us will stick around for the final posts. I welcome anyone (including those that lurk) to shout out, in comments, which are on and ready. You can also email me if you are shy. Have a favorite post? Want to say something? Don't be bashful. Now is the time, for the end is nigh.

Until I BLOG again...I laugh when I can and I live with the rest, I've learned that holding on means letting go.

3 comments:

Staci said...

This here BLOG has touched many. Thank you for your candor, your humor, and for sharing your story. I'll miss it!

Unknown said...

I've been following since the beginning. Thanks for sharing, DH. It's clearly been a labor of love. Dear Readers indeed. Good luck with your final posts.

Jessica Espinoza said...

Stu... this blog has kept me in touch with the Tinsley family since we left the great state of Texas and moved to Jersey... I will miss it immensenly, but most of all I cannot beleive how long it has been that I have been blessed by the Tinsley family friendship. You are all amazing... something tells me that a few years from now I will be following blogs written by those "readers". Thank you for all the laughs and all the tears.