One of my favorite things about being a breeder, not including the actual act of breeding (insert laugh track), is watching the Boy(s) personalities manifest. What is hard wired, what is learned? That whole nature vs. nurture thing. I'm not into debating it mind you, if you want that kind of action I'd recommend this careful study on the subject. I simply like to observe the Boy(s) in our own little test tube of life.
First up, Boy #2. Wyatt. The Little Warrior. You've read or heard my tales on his war cry. How he busts out in that quintessential scream at the slightest provocation. Generally good natured, as in excited. Never in anger. For most of his 13 months, the Little Warrior has been easy going. Then, as he approached the one year mark, which is about the two month mark of him being ambulatory - he started showing a fiery temper. Now, the way I told you about his scream, and you said, yeah, he screams, assuming that I'm embellishing his exploits to make my BLOG a better read. Nope. For those that have seen him in action, you know what I'm talking about. So, by saying that, consider this: His temper is fierce. We thought the Elder Boy had a temper. Wrong. It doesn't get anywhere near the Little Warrior's. He literally shakes with rage when something makes him mad. The two biggest catalysts for his rage is Ethan taking something away from him, and or when he can't master a fine motor skill that he feels he should be able to do, and or that Ethan can do. He's been walking for two or so months, so he assumes he should be able to do other things that he's not quite ready to do based on seeing his big brother do them. When this happens, look out. Scary mad. Shakes. Falls on the ground. Head butts the floor (we have tile and hardwoods, no carpet.) Now, both me and my Bride have bad tempers, but for the most part we keep them in check in front of the Boy(s). Yes, we've lost it a few times. Nothing that would compare with the Little Warrior's fits though. Put one on the board for nature.
Speaking of nature. Ethan turned three recently. We held his 3rd Birthday Party, titled "Ethan's Truck Extravaganza". It was a blast. He had a great time, and as the title of his party suggests, got a lot of truck related booty. Some of which were truck books. In one of these books, there is a spread with logging equipment. Two lumberjacks in some big rigs tearing down a forest. On the far left side of the page, low, there is a picture of a blue jay flying away from the vehicles over the wreckage that was once a forest. Each time we reach this spread, Ethan gets upset and asks me 'why they knocked down the birds home.' I was so taken back the first time he asked me, that I didn't know what to say. Finally, I pointed to the forest beyond the workers and said the bird was flying over there, that's where he lived. Ethan didn't buy that, and asked again, why they would knock down the birds home, where was he going to live. Upset by it. I later discovered that his Mom casually mentioned the bird the first time she read the book. It is curious that the artist of the book would place a bird in the spread. Perhaps some hidden tree hugger propaganda? Who knows. That's not the point. Empathy. Our three year old son is worried about that fictitious blue jay. So much so that each time we read it, we have to have a 5 minute discussion on the subject. Just what you want to do after a long day, conduct a lecture on the deforestation of the earth and the effects on our enviroment with your three old. While having our third discussion in as many days on the blue jay's plight a very old memory came bubbling up from my unconscious. I'm watching a TV show with a bunch of people in a lifeboat. Their boat had sunk. For whatever reason, they have a dog with them, and well, for some reason they had to get rid of the dog to try and save themselves. So, they cast the poor dog from the boat. I remember him swimming off into the fog away from the lifeboat, and realizing, he was going to drown. It crushed me. I cried. Hard. So bad, that Jerr or Joyce had to change the channel. I remember being told it was just make believe, that it wasn't real which didn't ease my emotional reaction to it. Very much like (sans the tears) Ethan stresses about the bird. Not sure how this one goes, probably a combination of both nature and nurture?
It is strange how the mind works. How these emotions or maybe, personality traits form as the Boy(s) develop. How they mirror some of my traits. Good and bad. It is shocking to see the ghost of my youthful former self in the brown eyes of Ethan as he worries about a fictious blue jay. It is equally, if not more shocking to be reminded of my anger issues when Wyatt rages on the floor. I want to stop time, and explain the reasons why they shouldn't be doing what they are doing based on my life experiences doing the same damn things. Hell, I'd like to hop in that spaceship and go back and tell my youthful self the same thing. Alas, I'm not Cher, all I can do is try to be a better person, good husband, and father, and lead by example, and provide the Boy(s) with a safe, secure, and loving environment to figure it out for themselves. Fingers crossed I don't screw it up to bad.
Until I BLOG again...
Saturday, January 29, 2005
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