Fight Test

Super Bowl Sunday was anything but for the Elder Boy. It wasn't my finest moment either. I told two grade school kids they were being dicks.

Father of the year. Not.

But fuck me, I hate bullies. Seriously. I get angry if I see someone I don't know being bullied, let alone my first born son who was being jerked around by these two kids who were being dicks. Still, at first, I knew that I shouldn't call them out on it, that the Elder Boy has to figure some of this out on his own. That I shouldn't get involved. Which I why I tried to keep my mouth shut, feeling sick in my gut, as I watched the drama unfold.

What sent me over the edge, was the older boys getting the younger kids, riled up, Lord of the Flies style, against E, including The Little Warrior.

Afterwards, E and I sat in silence, side by side, in lawn chairs in the backyard of the home that was having this not so super Super Bowl event. Ethan was clearly upset. Me. I was trying to figure out the correct thing to say to him on the subject of bullies, without advocating physical violence.

As I always say, I suck in real time, so I simply said, "Son, I'm sorry (name) and (name) were being dicks."

"I want to punch them in the mouth..." He raged. "Break their teeth!"

"I know." I said.

"I want to choke them!" He continued.

"I know Boy. I'm sorry." I said.

"I hate them!" He said, and then, that anger merged into sadness or shame, and he cried.

After a few moments, I moved over to the Boy's chair and let him climb into my lap, like he did when was smaller.

"Why did they do that?" He asked, through his tears.

"I don't know Ethan. Sometimes people are just mean or cruel. They like to use their strength or size to intimidate someone who is smaller or not as strong. Sometimes they do it if they think they are smarter, or have more money too. They are bullies, and bullies just suck." I said.

"Daddy..."

"Yes."

"Did you have bullies when you were little?" He asked.

"Yes. There have always been bullies. Probably always will be. That's why it is important, if you are bigger or stronger or whatever, to always be nice, and not be a bully. Actually, if you are bigger or stronger --- and you are E, big for your age I mean, you should look out for those smaller than you if you can. You know E, I don't want you to ever start anything, but if people are being mean to you like before, and you need to defend yourself, protect yourself, I want you to do that. I wouldn't be mad if you did that. Daddy would understand. Mommy too. You should always try and talk first though, to work it out without having to fight. But, if kids are being like those kids were being and they won't stop, no matter what you do, or try. Then sometimes you have to defend yoursef."

Ethan sat in my lap, thinking, so I continued, "The only thing that would make me mad, or upset is if I learned that you started a fight, or you were being a bully." I finished.

"Would I hit them like this?" He asked, as he flailed his arms in the air.

"You know Boy, the best thing to do to stop most anyone is to simply hit them square in their nose. It doesn't even take that hard of a punch. You get hit in the nose and it hurts." I said.

"Like this?" He asked, throwing a quick little jab in the air.

"Like that." I said. "You ready to go back inside."

"Yeah." He said, then hesitated and asked. "Why did Wyatt do that?"

"Because he's young, and he got swept up in that pack mentality. It happens. Often, the right thing thing to do is the opposite of what everyone else is doing." I said.

"Life is funny like that."

Until I BLOG again...I don't know where the sun beams end and the star light begins, it's all a mystery.