Friday, July 24, 2009

Over the Cliff

We were watching the Simpsons one night when Ethan saw a scene with Bart and Rod Flanders climbing down a tall building. As they are starting down, Bart tells Rod a lie about what gay means so Rod shouts down to his Dad that Mrs. Simpson made him gay.

"What does gay really mean, Dad?" Ethan asked.

"Gay is when boys like other boys." I explained.

"Really?!?!" Wy asked incredulously.

"Yep. Women too, but they usually are called lesbians."

"Gay can also mean cheerful or carefree." I continued. "Kind of like happy. That is what it meant back in olden times. For the most part though, if you say gay now you mean boys who like other boys instead of liking girls."

Fast forward a few weeks and we're sitting around the dinner table talking about Vacation Bible School at our church. The Boy(s) both went and My Lovely Bride volunteered and did some sort of story time thing where she rotated through each age group or class. She was telling me about how Wyatt wasn't very good for her on Day 1, not listening and messing around in class. More than likely trying to be funny.

"Oh," I said and then turning my attention to Wyatt, "You know what you should say the next time they try to stop you from having fun, Bub?"

"What?" He asked.

"Say, 'This Bible School is NO vacation.'"

It's a dumb joke. But I found it funny.

You know who did not?

My Lovely Bride.

She glared at me giving me her, I do not approve, and question why I even procreated with you in the first place look. She's convinced, probably rightfully, that Wyatt is going to be the first kid ever expelled from kindergarten because of my inappropriateness.

Fast forward another day or so, and I asked Wy, "Did you do the joke yet?"

"What?"

"The joke, Boy." I said. "This Bible School is NO vacation."

"Yeah." He said, looking sheepish which meant he wasn't telling me the truth.

"He's lying!" Ethan said at which point all hell broke loose.

Fast forward another day and my disapproving Lovely Bride is at (D)runco with a number of volunteers from VBS which is funny in and of itself considering how liquored up and hung over they all were the following day at VBS. But I digress.

At some point, I asked Wyatt if he had again, done the joke.

"What?" He asked.

"The joke."

"What?"

"The joke." I said annoyed that we were again having a crazy ass version of Who's on First.

"Oh," he said smiling.

"Dad," he said.

"Yeah."

"I'm gay."

I stared at him trying to figure out where he was heading since he had a shit eating grin on his face.

A few seconds later he added, "And I don't mean happy."

I've said it before. I'll say it again. The apples doesn't fall far from the tree.

Until I BLOG again...Forgive me or forget me everybody, Well I guess I always had this honest streak.

1 comment:

Chad and Mary Kate Martin said...

I actually snorted laughter. Wyatt keeps me so very very entertained!