My bucket's got a hole in it

On December 28, Wy Wy turned two years old. No surprise, being the Little Warrior, Wyatt is terribly two, too. I mean this in a loving, good way, but the Boy is nuts. At times, being with him is like hanging out with a miniature drunk. Happy one moment, bitterly angry the next. He keeps the entire Team on our toes. Dig this.

The other morning, Ethan was enjoying some hot chocolate. Wy Wy, seeing that his Big Brother had hot chocolate, wanted some too. Ethan is old enough, and has earned the right to drink his hot chocolate out of a proper coffee mug. This allows us to put marshmallows in it which both Boy(s) probably like more than the actual hot chocolate. If Wy Wy gets hot chocolate it has to be in a sippy cup, which has a lid on it so it won't spill. Thus, even if we include marshmallows in his hot chocolate, Wyatt can't see them, and thinks he's getting the short end of the stick.

All of the above had went down this past week, as I stood in the kitchen trying to make myself a cup of green tea after delivering the Boy(s) their hot chocolates. I was standing at the stove, with a hot kettle in my hand, when Wy came stumbling into the kitchen, looking like a crazy drunk. He had his sippy cup in his right hand, dangling, and was sort of pointing at me with his other hand. All the while, with that infernal plug in his mouth, he was ranting at me about the marshmallow situation. I should note here that Wy Wy has a lot of words for his age, however you can't always understand what they are, because he's either sucking on that infernal plug which screws up his pronunciation or he simply says a word like a two year old. To the point, Wyatt can be hard to understand, and interpreting what he is saying is sort of like playing charades, all about the context and his gestures. If you are slow to get what he is saying, he is likely to go into full-on warrior mode.

So there I am, a hot tea kettle in my hand, as I tried to pour hot water into a cup, when this surly little cat stumbled into me, dropping his sippy cup, and jabbing me in the leg to get my attention. The jabbing quickly progressed to tugging at my leg, which ended up with my pajama bottoms being pulled down below my waist. Since I'm going commando, I'm now standing in the kitchen, with my bare ass and penis exposed, hot tea kettle in one hand, being accosted by a mad two year old.

Setting the tea kettle back onto the stove, and trying to pull my pants up, Wyatt screamed, "UCKET IT ELLOWS!" I suck at charades, so I'm confused, but I am being father of the year calm, so I replied, "Excuses me?"
The calm tone of voice had little effect on Wy who roared, "UCKET ELLOWS!!! UCKET ELLOWS!!!!" Growing more agitated, but still trying to rise above it all, I said, "Take the plug out of your mouth Wy Wy." Being like a crack addict with that infernal plug, this made Wy go from 10 to 11 and he started ranting..."UCKET ELLOWS, UCKET ELLOWS, UCKET ELLOWS, UCKET ELLOWS!!!!!!" Calmly, I repeated, "Wyatt, please take the plug out of your mouth so I can understand what you want."

At this point, and even though it is hard to believe, Wyatt got even more mad, and screamed, "UCKET...(and which point he pulled the plug out of his mouth, holding it like a cigar and continued) ARSHMELLOWS!!!!!!!!!! (he then promptly shoved the plug back into his mouth)" Bingo, I can solve the puzzle...and I don't even need to buy a vowel. But, to make sure, I asked, "You want a bowl (Wy Wy calls a bowl a bucket) of marshmallows?"

Going from 60 to 0, and looking spent, Wy Wy gave me a vigorous nod...and then to make sure we're on the same page, pulled the plug out of his mouth and said, "YEAH."

I grabbed a bowl, and gave him some marshmallows. He took them, again removing the plug, as he shoved a handful into his mouth. He then looked up at me, giving me the biggest, sweetest moon pie esque (because of the marshmallows) smile and said, "Tank-You Dad-e" as he turned and exited the kitchen.

Until I BLOG again...Happy Birthday Wy Wy.