All This Time

Wednesday morning Ruby and I were walking Ethan to school, when he asked, "Daddy, is it one or two?"

"I don't know what you mean." I said.

"Is it ONE or TWO," he said.

"One or two what," I said.

"You don't understand." He said, as Ruby dropped on her haunches to take a crap.

"No, I don't. What are you talking about?" I said.

"Until you read," He said, as Ruby did her I just took a good shit dance.

"Oh. You mean when I read at your school, in front of your class, in the library." I said.

"Yes." He said, beat down by my denseness.

"Next week." I said, as I picked Ruby's shit out of a neighbor's yard.

He sighed, exasperated, "How many days? One or two."

"Five. Today is Wednesday, then we have Thursday, Friday and then Monday and Tuesday of next week. I do it next Tuesday." I said.

"Oh," he said, "Is that a long time?"

I laughed. "It's a week, Boy. It depends. Time is weird. When you are young, things take a long time. Time moves slow, or seems to move slow. It doesn't, but you only realize that when you get older."

"Oh." He said, not quite satisfied with my answer.

"Unless, something sucks, then it still takes a long time." I added.

He nodded his head, gave me a half smile, and turned and headed up the sidewalk toward school.

I paused in my neighbor's yard, a bag full of Ruby's shit in my hand. Fuck me. Tomorrow is October 18. One year. That is a long time.

"Hey Ethan," I said.

"Yeah?" He said.

"Tomorrow is..." I stopped short of saying what I was thinking. He didn't need to think about my shit.

"What?" He said.

"Tomorrow night is family night, we don't have to do anything." I said.

"I know Dad." He said.

"I know you know," I said, as Ruby and I jogged up the sidewalk to catch him.

Until I BLOG again...Endlessly like a silent tear.