Golden Shower

Why do I tempt fate? If you've read the BLOG before you'll note that Holy Crap: A Story, followed by Holy Crap: The Sequel culminated with the epic: Holy Crap: Once, Twice, Three Times A Turd. It seemed that after each mention of poop, the wheel of fortune swung my way harder than the previous turn. On March 31 I relayed Ethan's big potty news in More Pee, Please - you'd think I would have been smarter than to tempt Fortuna! Wrong.

Last night I was in a funk. Just bad mood. PISSED. When it came time to do night night time with Ethan, I was pretty much done. Tired. Angry. Stressed. Etc. He (Ethan) does this thing where If I read to him, he'll want his Mom to come in and sing to him before he hangs it up for the day. Last night was no exception, the only thing was (aside from my bitter state of mind) his Mom was bathing Wyatt. I took over half way through the bath, had to rinse his head, clean his nether region, and then I would be done. I did this, and moved him to his towel on the counter. Wyatt did not like the move. He enjoys his rub a dub dub time, and the removal from the baby tub, pissed him off, ROYALLY! He's crying. Loud. A few feet away Carter is trying to get Ethan down for the night. I thought I'd try my Daddy hair trick thingy to see if could get Wyatt to quit. I basically bend over and let my hair fall onto his chest and then shake my head, so my hair tickles him. He generally likes this - but it wasn't working last night. So, I try it more strenously. Meanwhile, due South in the nether region, Wyatt's saftey had come off, his, um gun (read: we put a towel over his penis so he won't spray all the place.) I did not realize this. 2+2 still equals 4, and the Boy started peeing. Remember, he's crying, so the force of it (I guess, I'm no engineer) made the stream powerful. Here I am, bent over doing the Daddy hair trick when a jet of urine plasters me across my hair, all over my massive forehead, eyes, nose (thankfully I had my mouth closed), etc. I jumped up and back, and the torrent continued, this time all over Wyatt. He pissed all over his own face, eyes, and I'm afraid to say, in his own mouth. I wish I could say I was embellshing this story to yuk it up for you, dear reader. I'm not. I got urinated on by my three month old son and in the process he peed all over himself. This is the first time (in my 2.3 years of Daddydom) that I've had this happen to me. I'm usually all over the penis danger issue- but last night, with my 'pissy' attitude, well Fortuna is a cruel mistress, but she does have an ironic sense of humor.

Daddy Note: Wyatt quit crying when he peed all over himself. I guess the warmth? I hope he doesn't grow up to be into that sort of a thing? I'll have myself to blame!

Until I BLOG again...