This is it

For all my rambling pontifications on this here BLOG, please realize Dear Reader, that most of the time I'm scratching my proverbial head on this parenting thing. It is hard. I try to be like Schneider and take it one day at a time. But, some days I feel more like Julie, or the actress that played her on TV, who as many know, had a horrible drug problem which forced her to leave that show. Not to say that I have a horrible drug problem. Strung out. That's what I'm driving at - because it (parenting) is hard, and sometimes I'm not sure what, if anything, is the right thing to do in regard to the Boy(s).

Before we became breeders, I did my dang dog best to not judge other parents. That whole don't throw stones when you live in a glass house coupled with walking a mile in someone elses shoes with a good dose of instant karma thing. I didn't want to be that guy who said, "Your kids do..." only to end up being a guy "who's kids did!" Mind you, I might have thought, Holy Crap their kids do X. But, I didn't judge because I didn't know what I'd do if and when I had kids of my own. How I would react. I had my assumptions. Thoughts on the subject. But, aside from my Lovely Bride I'd pretty much keep them to myself.

So, now that you know that, know this - The one thing I was certain of was corporal punishment. I would spank my kids if I felt they needed it. Corporal punishment is one of those polarizing subjects for parents. Want to get into a heated debate, bring it up at your next social outing with parents, even non-parents. Everyone has their thoughts on what is right - and most of the time, people don't agree. My point, I thought it was ok for me, as a choice, and that if need be, I'd spank my kids.

Now, faced with a nearly three year old who on occassion needs his ass busted, I'm not so sure it is the right choice (for me again, you do what you want/need.) Please don't misinterept my confusion as me not having the heart to do it...to be perfectly honest at times spanking Ethan would be the easiest thing in the world for me to do - since he can push me to the brink. That's the thing I never really got before becoming a breeder. How angry at your kids you can become. That whole two sided coin thing I ramble about at times...you love them so much, its also easy to go the other way at times, you have so much vested in them. Be that as it may, what trips me is this: the logic. I don't let him (or try to not let him) hit his brother. So, say he smacks Wyatt real good, to punish, I turn around and smack Ethan. Seems that I've reinforced that hitting is ok, and more to the point, that if you are bigger/stronger than another you can exert your force over them. Counter point to all of that, is this: he's three. Am I overthinkinking it?

Quite possibly. My Lovely Bride has no worries about spanking. She was never spanked. I think she feels she probaby could have used some corporal punishment in her youth. I on the other hand was spanked, on occassion, and harbor no animosity toward my spankers (read: Jerr and Joyce.) In fact, everytime that I was spanked, I deserved it. Without a doubt. Can't ever remember being spanked in anger which is a credit to my Mom and Dad, because now I know how hard it must have been when I especially showed my ass to not react out of anger but to discipline in a way that pointed me in the correct direction to be a happy, adjusted (you might disagree with the adjusted part) adult...who can make his own way in the world. That's what the ulimate goal of the whole thing is - to make these little Boy(s) into good, decent, and HAPPY, men. Easier said than done. Not sure what I'll end up doing - but I'm sure you'll be able to read about it right here. Speaking of which...I've been doing the TT BLOG thing for damn near a year. Since we're in year end / looking back mode...and for all those who wonder what in the heck I'm doing when I write what I write...posterity. Yes, I've wrote that before - but I actually stumbling across something that also explains it better than I ever could...comes from William Martin in The Parents Tao Te Ching.

My words are over.
I wrote them for myself,
that I might hear them often enough
to begin to understand them.
And as I begin to understand them,
may I begin to live them.
If looking over my shoulder
has brought you some pleasure,
I am content.

Until I BLOG again...Happy Kwanza.