The truth is the truth

Sunday afternoon coming down, hard. It was less than an hour since me and the Boy(s) had left church. Funnily enough (in that watching someone get kicked in the nuts way), that very day, was my first as a Shepherd, doing a summer rotation with the Scripture in Motion program. Care to guess the theme for my rotation? Choices. In fact that very morning the class had discussed the story of Jonah and the importance of making good choices.

Fast forward and I'm standing in 100+ heat in the middle of the Home Depot parking lot. I had just strapped the Younger Boy into his car seat and was coming back around to strap the Elder Boy into his. That's when I noticed Ethan fiddling around with his pocket. Thinking it was candy, and not wanting him to spoil his lunch, I said, "Boy, what do you have in your pocket?" He immediately placed his hands over his ears, like you would to block out a loud noise. Only he wasn't blocking out a noise, he was incriminating himself.

"Ethan," I said, "What is in your pocket?" No reply.
"Ethan." Slow. Measured. Getting angry. "What is in your pocket!?!"

Removing his hands from his ear, he looked at me, sadly and replied, "You...You...You'll be mad."

Great. That's what I want to hear. Marching on, "Ethan. Show me what is in your pocket - now."

Right about now, funny like on tv, but not really that funny in real life when it is a happening to you in a hot Home Depot parking lot, Wy Wy started his Little Brother comic relief routine by chiming in with, "What Ethan do?"

Trying to nip it in the bud, I said, "Wy Wy. Please be quiet for a minute. I need to talk to bubba."
"Ethan..." I said, "show me..." Wy interrupted me with a roar!
"I DON'T WANT TO BE QUIET!!!!!!!"
Patiently, I said, "Wyatt. Please be quiet for a minute."
"NO!" He yelled.
I decided to ignore him and continue my investigation, "Ethan..."
"NO...I not going..." Wy raged.
"...what is in your..." I continued.
"be quiet!" Wy yelled.
...pocket. You need to show me now, son." I finished. Wyatt just sat in his car seat looking mad, which I was about to become, as you see, Dear Reader, that is when the Elder Boy pulled out one of them there little tape measure key chain things. $2 bucks. Only we didn't pay $2 bucks for it. Nope. The Elder Boy had taken a five finger discount from Home Depot. Not nice. I took the tape measure from his hand and he quickly returned his hands to his ears. With the tape measure in my hand, I took a few steps back from the car and the open door and stared at it. I was stunned.

Ethan immediately started to sob and apologize, "I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!"
Wy, sensing something big was up, was right behind trying to figure out what was going on, "What Ethan do?"
"Daddy, I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!!" Ethan pleaded. "I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!"
Wyatt contined, "What Ethan do?" Then figuring it was something bad, imposed his sentence, "Ethan go to time out."
This would normally provoke Ethan to lash out at Wy, but he was to far gone to even notice, "Daddy...Daddy...Daddy, I'm sorry. Daddy?"

Me. I just stood there. Like a dip shit. Hot. Sweating. Seething. Silent. I'm ashamed to say, Dear Reader, my first instinct, when I came to my senses was to slap my first born son across the face, since he was strapped into his car seat and I couldn't get to his bottom. Thankfully, I let that thought pass. Instead, I just stood there, holding that damn tape measure, as Ethan continued to plead, "Daddy, I'm sorry. Sorry. Daddy. I'm sorry!!!!!!" Followed by Wyatt saying, "What Ethan do? Ethan what wrong?"

I kept thinking over and over, that the Boy knew from the get go, based on the covering of his ears that what he did was wrong. That he has made a bad choice. His apologies further proved that he knew that he had done wrong. Yet, he still, took something out of a Home Depot store, placed it in his pocket (while I was not looking) and walked out the door with it. There wasn't any excuse for it. He did it, hid it, and was trying to get away with it, until I caught him.

Ethan continued, "Daddy...I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry." At which point he started to cry so hard he could not longer apologize. Only sob. Wy kept up his incessant what's wrong with Ethan, what did Ethan do, Ethan needs to go to time out, questioning and comments, and I kept standing in that hell of a Home Depot parking lot trying to figure out what I should do in this situation.

Should I unstrap both of the Boy(s), and drag them (kicking and screaming I'm sure) across the parking lot into the store, find the manager on duty, and have Ethan give back the tape measure and apologize. Probably. But I didn't do that. No. The ragged truth is that I was afraid of what I might do if either Boy gave me any resistance. I was that upset. I declared myself unsafe. What then? I couldn't keep the tape measure. That would be a bad message to send to the Boy. Plus, I wanted to return it right then and there. I wanted the offending trinket gone. I was about to walk across the parking lot into the store and return it myself when I realized that leaving the Boy(s) in a parked car in 100+ heat was not a grand idea. On hindsight, what I should have done was drive the Boy(s) home, leave Wy with My Lovely Bride, get back into the car and return with Ethan so he could give the tape measure back and apologize. Alas, I'm not that smart in real time, perhaps because of the heat, or more than likely because I'm a dipshit. Instead, I saw a Home Depot employee across the parking lot, gathering up shopping carts, and decided I would return the tape measure to him. Slowly I walked across that lot in that blinding heat, so hot that the poor guy gathering the carts actually winced when his bare arm touched the hot metal of one of those carts. Still rubbing his arm, he eyed me warily as I approched.

"Hello. I'm sorry to bother you," I said, as I extended my hand with the tape measure. "My Boy took this from your store. I'm very sorry. Can you take it back inside and return it for me?" Waiting for his answer, it dawned on me that I was unable to even say the word steal to this guy. Some half ass knee jerk trying to protect Ethan reflex? Or was I just embarrassed by his actions? The way I phrased it though, it was like he took it by accident. He did not. By the way he looked at me, he could give a shit whether Ethan took it on purpose or by accident. He looked at me like I was nuts to take the time to walk across the parking lot and return a $2 tape measure.

"Aaaaaaa. Sure." He said, with a strange, are you messing with me grin, "I can take it back inside...for you. No problem."

All business, I replied, "Thank you. I'm sorry for what my Boy did."

Smiling again, he said, "Yeah. No problem - sir. Happens all the time."

"I'm sure it does, but that doesn't make it right."

That got another strange look from him. "Have a nice day," I said, as I turned and took the long walk back to the car. Ethan was crying. Wy was still alternating between questions and his time out judgment. Me. I was still in shock, as I strapped myself into my car seat. Ethan quit crying long enough to plead me to not tell his Mom. He then asked for me to not call the police, because he did not want to go to jail. I couldn't muster a reply. All I could think was, Indeed.

A day removed from the above, and I'm still upset with Ethan's actions. Did I overreact. Probably. My Lovely Bride thinks so, and thinks I need to let it go, among other things. She's probably right. She usually is.

Until I BLOG again...Or the truth is surely a lie.