I tell you that for this.
My parents bought me Legacy, Rick(y) Nelson's box set for my 34 birthday. That was July 2001. My Lovely Bride was just out of her first trimester with the Elder Boy.
Naturally, I spent a lot of time listening to Legacy. It was my soundtrack of sorts, to impending fatherhood.
When Ethan was born, I didn't know any lullabies. Because of my ignorance, I decided to make a deep cut Rick(y) Nelson song my de facto lullaby for Ethan. I Rise, I Fall is that song. I can't begin to count the times I've sang it to him the past 5 1/2 years. Anytime I hear the song, I'm flooded with powerful memories of E as a baby, or toddler. Him in my arms, as I walked the floors, doing my patented baby dance/walk move. Always singing that song (Wy's song, for those playing along at home, You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You by Dean Martin.)
Today, I Rise, I Fall is a poignant reminder of the passing of time.
This past week, as we prepared for Ethan's first day of kindergarten, I've been reading old BLOG entries as well as looking at old pictures on shutterfly. I'm amazed by how much things have changed. Almost as if overnight. When I wasn't paying attention.
All week, I've been trying to figure out a way to do a proper BLOG entry for this occasion. This BLOG by design is nothing more than my attempt to create a chronicle for the Boy(s) in that distant Buck Rogers future. Thus, today's entry is important.
The thing is --- I got nothing. Words escape me. All I got is this wistful feeling deep in my gut, and the closing narration from the TV show the Wonder Years stuck in my head. "Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you're in diapers, the next day you're gone."
I know Ethan is far from gone, it is after all, only kindergarten. Still, like another time when I had a hard time saying good bye to a turtle named Tula, I realize today is just one more step of many, away from me, and his Mom.
That is as it should be. That knowledge however, doesn't make it easier. Especially for me, a guy who has a hard time letting go.
So, today, in honor of that big step forward, I want to look back with wonder via the video below. Today, has proven yet again, that time passes so quick. Savor it. Blink your eyes, Dear Reader, growing up does happen in a heartbeat.
Until I BLOG again...Since I'm that much a part of you.
1 comment:
Stuart-- I decided to take a look at your blog after seeing the attachment in an email. I've been wondering if a blog is something I might want to do, since I've been a freelance features writer for 20 years at the DMN and now they've cut back on features so much...but I'm not sure I could take this much time to write this much and not make any money off of it! How do you find the time? Anyway, I can relate to this particular blog. When Allison entered kindergarten, I spent the prior weekend watching old home movies of her and bawling my eyes out-- not only was I sad that she was now going to be spending more time in "the system" than at home, but also I'd had a goal that I would be a better, more patient parent by the time she hit school and I felt awful 'cause I felt I still hadn't managed to accomplish that (naive, huh?). Andy and I both shed tears on that first day as we walked out the door of the school. (On Emmie's first day of school, in contrast, she was so excited to be at her sister's school, she practically walked herself to her room! It was pouring down rain, so both girls looked like drowned rats-- no sentimental outdoor photos that day!) Anyway, last Monday we drove Allison to North for her first day of junior high. In contrast to the high drama of kindergarten, you just pull up to the curb, and they get out. She didn't want us to snap any photos (I had to snap them at home), and we certainly couldn't hug her in front of the line of cars with kids (I asked, anyway.) But it's just as momentous, and talk about a lump in one's throat. I was so proud of her, and sad, and a little scared, all at the same time. Andy and I lingered a bit while the cars waited behind us and we watched her walk all the way in. No tears, but I think I've been crying on the inside all week. Amen to savoring every minute...from kindergarten on, life with kids does nothing but pick up speed!
-Patricia
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