It's just a moment - Part 2

Read Part 1

---

Wy: "I hate Sea World!"
Me: "What? Why???"
Wy: "They don't have Transformers."
Me: "What? It's Sea World Boy. They aren't going to have Transformer toys here, they have Shamu toys and Shamu shirts. Stuff like that."
Wy: "I hate Shamu!"
Me and Wy in a gift shop at Sea World on my 40th birthday

---

Whoever designed Sea World is a genius. An evil genius.

Consider this. It is nearly impossible to leave Sea World without first exiting through a gift shop.

Dig if you will a picture, of Team Tinsley trying to leave Sea World after a long, tiring, and expensive day. All we (read me) want is to get out of the park, walk the mile to our car, and leave. If only. Sea World have is designed so you walk into a large gift shop on your way to the exit gate. We had to drag the Boy(s) through what amounts to a toy store full of overpriced crap to leave. It truly is genius. Evil yes. Genius never less.

You'd think that would be the end of it too. Right? Wrong.

Sea World had the brilliant idea of making each gift shop (and there are many) different. So, say you want to buy shark stuff, like the crap you saw earlier that day in the gift shop that was outside the shark area. Don't expect to buy it at the exit point gift shop of Sea World. No. The rat bastard planners are smarter than me. They'd rather we trek across the park to the shark gift shop. I guess they figure we'd (and you) will spend more money if you are stuck in their park.

I tell you that for this.

Our first planned stop on day two at Sea World (after the body cavity search and big brother ticket scan at the gate) was to visit the shark area of Sea World so the Boy(s) could visit the shark shop and buy crap that they couldn't find at the end of the line gift shop the night before.

Unbeknownst to me (I was probably busy playing pack mule) my Lovely Bride had made this deal with the Boy(s). She told them, after we visited shark city toys, we would go to the Anheuser-Busch hospitality building which is caddywampus from the shark shop. This was in honor of my 40th birthday.

Did you know that Anheuser-Busch owns Sea World? That in many ways, the entire park is nothing more than a giant, interactive advertisement, disguised as a family friendly vacation? Seriously. "Hey kids, let's take a picture in front of the statue of the world famous Anheuser-Busch clydesdale. Or better yet, in the stable with the little jackass from that famous Super Bowl ad."

Do the folks at A-B think that I'll by waxing down memory lane in the Buck Rogers future, stumble across the Sea World vacation pics, see the jackass photo, and have the urge to dust my ass down to piggly wiggly for a sixer of ice cold Busch beer?

The A-B hospitality building is nothing more than a shrine to A-B, with comfortable seats and two free beers. The plan was for us to enjoy our two free beers (next time I think I'm bringing a disguise or two, so I can cheat their system) and then go to the beluga whale show.

It was a sound plan, except for one thing. Both the Boy(s) couldn't find a toy they wanted at the shark shop, thus were in a foul mood as we entered the A-B hospitality building. Did I mention it was raining?

The A-B building was full of wet and frazzled parents trying to enjoy their beers (read me and my Lovely Bride) while their sullen children waited impatiently (read the Elder Boy) or ran amok (read The Little Warrior.)

Half way through my second beer (a surprisingly nice stout from A-B - who knew the even made a stout?) the Elder Boy, who was not happy to be in the A-B shrine for my birthday (If drinking beer made it my birthday, I'd be 8,000 years old by now) said, I shit you, not: "I wish it wasn't your birthday!"

Ouch.

I should have stood up and let him kick me in then nuts. We didn't have time though, the beluga show was starting in 10 minutes and we had to run to the other side of the park (in our pongos!)

Until I BLOG again...Don't say that later will be better.