42

Long ago, when I was a young man, my father said to me, "Norman, you like to write stories." And I said "Yes, I do." Then he said, "Someday, when you're ready you might tell our family story. Only then will you understand what happened and why."
A River Runs Through It



"Why did Granny buy me this?" Wy asked.

Such a simple question. One that would lead to a powerful epiphany. But that came seven days later. Remember. I'm king of the dipshits. I suck in real time.

"Why did Granny buy you what?" I asked turning around to see what Wyatt meant. This being our Mr. Mom vacation, at the time of his question I was in the Gulf of Mexico off Crystal Beach with my back turned to him. Not that I wasn't on point. In fact, I was positioned in what I considered the middle ground between Wy playing in the surf and E who was back on the beach putting the finishing touches on an elaborate sand castle complex.

"Oh. You mean your surfboard." I said since he was holding up his boogie board (which he calls a surfboard.)

"Yeah." Wy said. "Why did Granny buy me this?"

"She bought that for you, and one for your brother when we came to Galveston." I said. "We went to Stewart Beach. That place we drove by earlier today on our way to the ferry. She bought it at that place I pointed out to you and Ethan that was destroyed. That they are rebuilding."

"I didn't like Stewart Beach." Wy said.

"Really? I'm amazed you even remember that. You were really little." I said.

"Yeah." He said with a serious look on his face. "But why did she buy it for me?"

"She liked to buy you guys stuff." I explained. "And I guess she wanted to get you something from the beach."

"Yeah," he said again, "But why did she buy it for me?"

Again, let me remind you that I am a dipshit in real time. Which is why I didn't get Wy's point so I snippily said, "I just told you why she bought it for you."

"Yeah." Wy said dejectedly, giving up.

"She'd be happy you..." I said stopping mid-sentence because the proverbially light bulb went off over my king of the dipshits crown.

"You want to know why she bought you your surfboard when you were so little? Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah." He said smiling. Happy that I had caught up.

"I'm not sure. Like I said, she liked to buy you guys stuff. And if we went somewhere she would usually buy you guys a souvenir or something. She usually got t-shirts though. But I remember on this trip she walked up and down the beach with you a lot. You were in your stroller. I have photos of that."

"Yeah." He said.

"On this trip though she really wanted to get you guys a surfboard or something so you could play in the ocean. I remember her walking around and looking for a place to buy it. It was kind of odd. You were still in a stroller on that trip. You couldn't play in the ocean with a surfboard. You couldn't swim."

Then almost to myself I said, "You guys were really little then. That was July 2005. Four years ago."

"Yeah." Wy said looking as if he was still not satisfied with my half ass thinking out loud answer.

"You know what?" I asked.

"What?"

"Even though I'm not exactly sure why Granny bought it for you, I do know one thing."

"What" Wy asked.

"It would make her very happy that you've enjoyed it as much as you have, and that we still have the surfboards four years later."

"Yeah." Wy said smiling.

"And she'd love the fact that you are out here riding the waves like you've been doing today. Using the surfboard she got for you. She'd have loved to see to you do that. You're a good surfer."

"I know." Wy said.

I wanted to tell Wy that Granny was up in heaven looking down and watching him surf. But I couldn''t do that. I don't know if that is true. And my lack of faith would make me preface it with a big nasty if there is a heaven, which would have sullied our moment. So Instead I said what I know is true, not what I hoped was true.

"She loved you son."

"I know." He said.

I didn't know the real answer though. Or what I'm pretty certain the real answer is. Took me seven days to get it. Finally hitting me while I was viewing photos of our Mr. Mom trip online and replaying our conversation in my head.

"Why did Granny buy me this?"

Because she knew she was dying.

That is why she was so hell-bent on getting two surfboards that were not age appropriate for the Boy(s.) She knew her cancer was terminal. And that her time was limited.

She was right.

A year later we tried to get her to come to Galveston for the day to watch the Boy(s) play in the surf. She couldn't. By then she could barely walk. A month after that, over Labor Day weekend, she told me she had six months to live.

This time she was wrong.

She had six weeks.

Until I BLOG again...Those that are dead are not dead, they're just living in my head.

Read the epilogue to 42 here.