Monday, November 17, 2008

I can't change the world

"Was Ethan born first?" Wy asked.

"What do you think?" I said clearly annoyed. "You know the answer to this question. It doesn't change."

"Yes." he said giving me the same mean look I would have given him if the tables were turned.

"Yes." I said. "Ethan is older than you. Ethan was born first."

"I want to be born first." Wy cried.
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"Its not fair." E complained. "Wyatt doesn't have to go to school as long as me."

"If you want fair, you'll have to wait until September." I quipped. "That's when the State Fair comes back to town, which is your only guarantee at fair in this life."

"Its not fair." Ethan said, ignoring the joke (he's like his Mom --- my comedy stylings are sorely unappreciated at home.)

"Dude," I said. "You went to school there and had the same day as him. You've been there, done that. When he's your age he'll be doing what you are doing now. But you'll be doing something else. That's just the way it is. He's younger than you."

"Its not fair!" E cried.
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Sibling rivalry is voodoo to me. Probably because I'm an only child. Which has, and continues to define my personality. The same way the Boy('s) personalities are being shaped because they have a younger/older brother.

My Dad, who hailed from a family that included four brothers and two sisters often told me and my Mom, who was also an only child, "You choose your friends, not your family."

Which I can certainly understand when I watch the Boy(s) morph into their stereotypical brotherly roles. Wy playing the pesky and gregarious little brother, to E's physically superior, overly cautious, big brother. I wouldn't classify E a bully with Wy, but he does use his size and strength at times. Wy handles the physical threat by waging complete mental warfare on E.

This is what was happening at E's end of Fall Soccer picnic at Breckinridge Park. Wy was doing the annoying, I'm going to co-opt one of E's teammates, make his friend my friend, and then rub it into E's face by ganging up on E with this kid. Normally E freaks out hard when this happens, but on this beautiful Indian Summer day he let go and teamed up with another teammate for a convoluted playground chase game against Wy and his friend.

Eventually they grew bored with the game and decided to go explore the park with me and a pair of twins from the team. Breckinridge Park is a heavily wooded area. There are smaller creeks that feed into a large creek. Typical of this part of Texas, the little creeks have limestone beds which often have fossils as well as shelfs and ledges where the limestone has shifted and or broke off. It was a creek such as this, that we spent thirty minutes exploring.

When I decided it was time to bug out, I headed up the hill to check in with the rest of the team and their parents at the playground. The creek is in a valley, and being an adult, with a much longer stride, I was soon 100 yards up the hill from the kids when I heard Wy cry out behind me.

Looking down the hill I noted that Wy had made a bad choice when we crossed the creek and had ended up stranded on a ledge on the opposite side. The closet person to him was the kid he had teamed up with against Ethan, who was standing on our side of the bank. Up the hill a few yards were the twins. Followed by E's buddy and then E who was the closet to me.

I could see from where I stood that Wy had three options. He could back track and fall further behind. He could forge ahead on his side through a swampy area and try to ford the creek downstream. Or he could jump off the ledge into the creek and wade across to where his friend was standing. It wasn't that big of a creek to be honest. The ledge was only three feet above the creek which was only two feet deep.

Still Wy was clearly scared and upset.

My high ground offered me the vantage point of being a fly on the wall to their very Lord of the Flies moment. I watched this non-verbal communication chain, as E looked to his friend, who looked to the twins, who looked to Wy's friend who then looked to Wy. Nothing was said, but all the boys except Wy and Ethan shrugged in a way that implied that Wy was on his own.

Wy got their non-verbal cue and became more upset, eventually pleading across the creek for his co-opted friend to help him. The kid shrugged again, looked down at his feet and mumbled what I think was, 'sorry.'

I was about to head back down the hill to rescue the Younger Boy when Ethan, who as I said, was farther up the hill than the rest of the pack, pushed his way through their group, to the edge of the creek and stopped.

He looked across the creek at Wy, who was crying at this point, and said, "It's OK Wyatt," and jumped into the creek and waded across.

When he got to Wy's side, the height difference between the ledge and the creek was such that Ethan had to reach up and grab Wy around his knees, picking him up, and then putting him down in the creek. He then grabbed Wy by the hand, said, "Come on Wyatt," and led him across the creek to where the other boys were standing.

For a few seconds my Boy(s) stood in front of the other boys, dripping wet, on the bank of that little creek.

E realized at some point that he was still holding Wy's hand in front of his friends and dropped it like a hot rock and said to the kid he had been playing with, "Let's go," and ran up the hill toward me. The twins took off next, quickly followed by Wy's co-opted friend and then Wy Wy.

When E reached me on the hill he stopped, probably because of the look on my face. After a moment, he gave me a slight shrug as if to say, what else could I do, and then smiled at me, and ran off toward the playground with his friend.

A few seconds later, the twins ran by me quickly followed by Wy's co-opted friend and then Wy Wy, who still had a tear on his cheek.

Like Ethan, Wy noted the look on my face and stopped in front of me.

"That was nice what Ethan did for you." I said.

Wy gave me this sheepish half grin he does when he's been busted doing something he probably should not be doing.

"You should remember it Wy Wy." I said, "E had your back. The other boys. They didn't help you. Ethan helped you."

Wy nodded his head in agreement and shrugged and then smiled in a manner that was a carbon copy of his big brother.

"Go play." I said as Wy ran off toward the playground.

Until I BLOG again...But I can change the world in me.

3 comments:

Bruce said...

Okay, you could call this tit for tat because I just read your comment, but really I was checking my link and got to reading this post. What a great story, especially since I've spent some time with the characters. I can picture Wyatt's expression, I think it's the one you had when we crossed the dam at the golf course creek :)

Chad and Mary Kate Martin said...

In our need to catagorize our parental moments, Chad and I have a series of acronyms to sort through events i.e. QPM - Questionable Parenting Moment is used quite often.

This one deserves a PPM - proud parenting moment -- speaks very highly of you and Carter and how you are raising the boys. Maybe there is a father of the year award out there for you.

jenzai studio said...

If only I had a quarter for every time I heard the word "fair" in our house! I am SO stealing your State Fair quip.

It's an awesome illustration of sibling rivalry, and how sibling loyalty ultimately wins out. You are doing an awesome job.