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April 19, 2016
Your journey to what will be now, your Confirmation Retreat, started on February 15,2005. You were just a couple of months past your first birthday, a time I’m pretty certain you do not remember. I know this because I documented most of the early years of Team Tinsley on our eponymous blog. There was a TV show called Fear Factor that Ethan and I watched when he was really small. We used to sit on that big brown recliner than you may remember, that sat near the fireplace, while you toddled around the front room (or were in a baby carrier.) At any rate I’ve included the Fear Factor story with this letter if youwant to read it for a bit of context.
Your journey to what will be now, your Confirmation Retreat, started on February 15,2005. You were just a couple of months past your first birthday, a time I’m pretty certain you do not remember. I know this because I documented most of the early years of Team Tinsley on our eponymous blog. There was a TV show called Fear Factor that Ethan and I watched when he was really small. We used to sit on that big brown recliner than you may remember, that sat near the fireplace, while you toddled around the front room (or were in a baby carrier.) At any rate I’ve included the Fear Factor story with this letter if youwant to read it for a bit of context.
The reason I
tell you that is this. It was very
important to me to expose both you and your brother to a faith base because of
my fucked up background with religion (how much you want to bet your letter is the only one that has an F
bomb in it.) I’ve talked about it a bit
in your confirmation class, but let me expand on it so you understand in a
deeper sense what I mean.
The brand of
Christianity that was shoved down my throat as a kid I’ve since determined was
flawed. We’re talking Will’s God #3 as a sheriff x10 kind of shit. This coupled with my black and white,
borderline OCD personality traits caused me a lot of hurt that I didn’t always
express when I was young. I kept it inside. But make no mistake I was afraid and often
scared of religion. Hell, I was scared of Will’s sheriff God #3 since
that was the God that was sold to me, and his son Jesus wasn’t much better,
because if you said fuck, like I did earlier in this letter, according to the
people who were teaching me, I would go to hell. And hell was a very real
and scary place to those that were preaching to me.
It took me a
very long time to get over this. Even
after I no longer personally believed it.
And make no mistake, I firmly believe this isn’t a good way to live your
life regardless of what you ultimately believe.
Remember,
this whole process is about you getting a faith foundation that sets you up for
your own faith journey that you’ll be on the rest of your life. That’s the beauty of Confirmation and
AUMC. It’s really is up to you. I won’t lie. I do want you to
continue on with AUMC as a strong solid faith base, which I think will serve
you well. I think being part of the Youth program, is good. Going
to church and being a part of that community is good. But at the end of
the day all I really care about are a few things.
I told your
brother the same back in 2014. And I’m
going to tell you the same thing now.
What I want for you is this: I want you to be happy. And. I want
you to do as much good as you can do.
The secret to
doing this, which is simple in theory, but often hard to execute is to follow
the golden rule. Do unto others as you
would have them do unto you. It really
all boils down to that in my opinion regardless of what you ultimately believe. If everyone just did that simple thing think
about how much better the world would be.
You’re a good
kid, Wyatt. I can’t stress that
enough. I’m often amazed by your actions
and how you act in different situations.
You are a very unique young man.
Your Mom and
I didn’t know if we’d ever have Ethan. I think you know those stories (if not,
I’d be happy to share them with you although they may be uncomfortable to you
at your current age.) You though were
much easier to have. And quite
unexpected. All of which sort of has
been etched on your personality. Your
Mom’s big thing with you was waiting to see you before you were named. You were nearly Luke. But when she saw you she knew you were a
Wyatt and you’ve truly lived up to that unique name in character since you were
a tiny baby.
As for me ---
You were voodoo to me. You have to
remember that I’m an only child of an only child. I’ve never known what it was to have
siblings. You changed the game for me
when you entered the and made me the Dad of boy(s). And I’ve always been so
thankful for all you’ve taught and shown me about life. I truly am a different person because of you
directly. Something you probably didn’t
ever really take time to think about or know.
I’ve got off
topic…let me get back to my point, which was this: you are a good person. And I have faith that you will also do good.
Pay close
attention to that statement. Mainly the
‘do’ part. I didn’t say ‘be’ good. Your human.
You will mess up and do things you end up regretting. Things that your Mom and I may not agree with
or like. Things that upset us. And that is ok. It’s part of life and no matter what you do,
you can never separate yourself from the love your Mom and I have for you. Nothing can take that away. Ever.
We will also be your biggest champions.
There to support you. No matter
how big or far you go. We are and will
also be your Mom and Dad. I want you to
never forget that. As you become a
teenager you’ll want to pull away from that. Which is fine. All boys do it. But please never forget that we are there for
you and always have your best interest at heart even when you may not think
that we do or understand.
So as you
stare down Confirmation (you are only a month away) as well as your final days
at Heights before you make that big move to Jr. High let me tell you my wish
for you.
I want you to
find your own way in this world and to do as much good as you can do, while
being happy doing it. To be the best
Wyatt Carter Tinsley you can be.
In the end I
don’t give a shit if you are Methodist, Catholic, Jewish (you’d have to
convert,) Baptist or Buddhist! You
should explore what you believe, ask questions, and listen to your heart while
thinking things through in your head. Help
others if you can. All the stuff we’ve
talked about in Confirmation. That’s why
it Is so important to me.
Make no
mistake, how you feel about things is going to change as you grow, and
experience different things in life.
Your thoughts and attitudes will change, which is ok. And why it is so important for me that you
know I’ll love you no matter what. It’s
an unconditional kind of love. The same
love you’ve been taught in Confirmation and your entire church life at AUMC
that God has for you. And that’s good. Because in the end, and as cheesy as it may
sound, the answer really is LOVE. And
for many people God and Jesus are the embodiment of that love.
