At the altar of the dark star

As promised in that end is nigh BLOG, these recap posts are self serving, and really nothing more than my dumb ass trying to make some sort of sense out of 265 entries on this here BLOG (Click hard for the 2004 recap & 2005 recap.) Which brings us to 2006.

If two words can define a year, my two words would be this: Fuck Me. 2006 sucked. Hard.

Looking back from the vantage of now, it is interesting to see how many of these posts deal with Mom dying of cancer. Even in the ones that never mention her or it specifically. It is there. Casting a powerful dark shadow over damn near anything and everything I touched.

If I learned anything from 2006, Dear Reader, it is this (lifted from The Little Prince, which you should read, if you haven't:) "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Our culture isn't one that prepares us to deal with death. We like to stay away from it. Hide it. Not talk about it. Which is well and good until that inevitable day you are forced to deal with it, head on. That was 2006. Fuck me, indeed.

2006

Pop!
January 09, 2006
The first time I trotted out my Fuck cancer mantra, and one of the first posts that deals specifically with Mom's illness, albeit in a very elliptical sort of way.

Dino-Mite!
January 16, 2006
I heart this post. Truly. It is quintessential Elder Boy. Perfectly capturing his cautiousness while still showing his inherent sweetness. It also does a good job of capturing my goofy ass, what with my bad stock jokes and healthy fear of germs.

Those are some great names
February 06, 2006
Another post chronicling my bad sense of humor. I mean really, who else but me, thinks about porn while shopping for Rescue Heroes at Toys 'R Us.

The truth is the truth
July 17, 2006
Without a doubt, and to date, the most upset I've ever been with The Elder Boy.

When you said to me
August 06, 2006
At first glance, this entry might seem a bit mundane until you consider this. It is the first time I explain myself in regard to typing Dear Reader. It is also the first time I provide an actual out link to the video of the song I'm referencing in the title of the post.

Who's to say where the wind will take you?
August 29, 2006
Of all the posts dealing with Mom's demise, this and this are the most painful for me to read.

Am I too late?
October 18, 2006
One of my favorite Little Warrior stories. A brief ray of light in an otherwise dark time for this Team of Tinsleys.

I have got to leave to find my way
October 20, 2006
Since this is omphaloskepsis, let me state my love of the opening line: "Anger is easy. If anyone knows that, it is me." The balance of the BLOG however tells the very real story of how doing the right thing can feel wrong.

Filled with imperfect thought
October 30, 2006
This entry, about watching my Mom die, along with The Revenge of Matt Pogue bring the most people to the Team Tinsley BLOG via search engines. God only knows what they must think when they read my thoughts on Gone From My Sight, The Dying Experience by Barbara Karnes (which as I wrote is a truncated inverse version of What to Expect When You are Expecting.)

Filled with imperfect thought
November 10, 2006
A Boy named Stu versus the five stages of grief. Grief wins of course, adding insult to injury with me breaking down to The Living Years. Which is kind of funny. What is not, is me sharing more details of Mom's final days and the fact that her mortal remains were carried away (as it rained) in the back of a Dodge Caravan. Fuck me.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc
December 29, 2006
Man, oh, man. How prescient my title was for the final post of 2006. After this, therefore because of this. I also got to love my lead, "Where's her head." Truth really is stranger than fiction.

Until I BLOG again...Counting down ’til the pain would stop.